The Gays Are at It Again

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Figuring out your sexual orientation tin exist confusing, only there'southward no blitz to label yourself. Your sexual identity is personal, and it'southward okay to explore how y'all feel. If you lot doubtable yous may be gay, examine your thoughts and behaviors to figure out if you're attracted to the other genders. Additionally, consider experimenting with your sexuality. If you identify equally gay, exist proud of who you are and come up out when you feel ready.

1. i

   Count how often yous notice people of unlike genders. When you're out in public, notice who tends to draw your eye. Gay individuals are more likely to notice people who are the same gender as them, while direct people tend to notice the other binary gender people more. Alternatively, queer folks may notice genders depending on any preferences they may have.^[1]

   • For example, let's say you're a guy enjoying the solar day at the beach. If you lot notice yourself checking out the other guys in their swimsuits, you might be interested in men.
   • Continue in mind that you might sometimes find people for reasons other than existence gay. For instance, you lot might like their outfit.

2. 2

   Notice who sexually arouses you. Look at pictures of people who are ordinarily viewed equally "bonny" and see which gender(s) arouse y'all. If yous're more aroused by people who are the same gender as you lot, you may be gay. If you find more than than 1/or the same gender as yous arousing, yous may be queer.^[2]

   • For example, you might expect at pictures of celebrities to meet what attracts you. However, keep in heed that thinking someone looks attractive doesn't necessarily mean you'd want to accept sexual activity with them.

3. 3

   Examine your past crushes to see who you're attracted to. Your crushes tin tell you lot a lot about your sexuality. Call back about the people you've "liked" in the past. Detect if you tend to develop crushes on people who are the same gender as y'all. This could be a sign that you're queer.^[iii]

   • For example, if you're a girl who'due south crushed on a soccer teammate, a fellow girl scout, and your all-time daughter friend, you lot might exist lesbian, or interested in women.
   • It's normal to have occasional crushes on someone who's the same gender as you, even if yous're not gay. However, if you lot find yourself having same-gender crushes frequently, you might exist queer.

4. 4

   Reflect on your past relationships and how they made you experience. Y'all can be gay even if you've had direct relationships in the past. Think about who you dated in the past and how comfortable yous felt in the relationship. Inquire yourself if you felt attracted to this person and what type of attraction yous felt. This can help you figure out if y'all might be queer.^[4]

   • For case, allow's say you lot're a guy who's had, several girlfriends. If you felt uncomfortable with physical contact with each girl, yous may be gay.
   • Go along in heed that you might just not exist ready for intimacy or maybe asexual, both of which are okay. You don't accept to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

5. v

   Examine your sexual fantasies to help identify your sexual orientation. Reverberate on the type of fantasies you've had in the past. Discover what you were doing and who you tend to think near. If you lot often fantasize about relationships involving specific genders, you lot may be queer or gay.^[5]

   • As an example, let'due south say y'all tend to recall about people who are the same sex activity as you are whenever you masturbate. You may be gay, but you could too be pansexual or bisexual if y'all sometimes think virtually the another gender.
   • Recollect nearly who you identify with most during romantic or sex activity scenes in movies or TV. For instance, if you lot're a girl who identifies with the guy graphic symbol because you want to kiss the girl, you lot may be interested in girls.

6. half-dozen

   Don't assume you're gay based on how you walk, talk, or dress. Y'all've probably heard stereotypes nearly what makes someone gay, but none of these are true. Your sexual orientation has nil to do with your style, advent, or how you speak. Similarly, walking or dancing a certain mode doesn't make you gay, either. Ignore these stereotypes when figuring out your sexual orientation.^[6]

   • For example, having a high-pitched vocalisation as a guy doesn't make you gay. Similarly, preferring curt pilus equally a daughter doesn't make y'all a lesbian.

1. 1

   Flirt with someone your similar to see if it feels right. Start past giving a compliment to someone you lot think is attractive. If they seem comfy with information technology, playfully affect their arm or shoulder. See how information technology makes you lot feel.^[7]

   • You might say, "That colour looks astonishing on you lot."
   • If you savor flirting with the same gender, you might be gay or queer.
   • If y'all feel like it's ho-hum or awkward, you may exist straight.

2. 2

   Buss or concord hands with someone who's the aforementioned gender/another gender if you want. Physical intimacy like kissing or holding hands volition assistance you effigy out if you might relish being with someone who'south the same gender as you, or another gender such equally non-binary. Take things slow and start past property hands with them. Then, consider kissing them if y'all both seem to be comfortable with it.^[8]

   • Keep in listen that kissing and touching a person who'south the same sex as you lot doesn't automatically mean you're gay.
   • Don't practise anything that feels uncomfortable to you. If you become uncomfortable, excuse yourself. Say, "I need to refresh my drink," or "I'one thousand going to go detect a snack."

3. 3

   Employ protection if yous decide to go all the way with someone. If you want to be sexually intimate with someone, use a prophylactic or dental dam to protect both of you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Y'all are all the same at risk, for STIs or STDs regardless of your relationship type. ^[nine]

   • Only have sex with someone if it's really what you want. Don't be afraid to take things slow.
   • Continue in mind that even if you accept a sexual feel with someone of the same gender or some other gender, that doesn't necessarily hateful that you're gay. Likewise, having sex activity with someone of the 'reverse' gender doesn't accept to mean that you're direct.

4. 4

   View your sexual identity every bit something that'south fluid. Things would be so simple if you could just characterization yourself every bit gay and be done with it, but it may not be that easy. It'south normal for you to have questions and modify your mind sometimes. Mind to how you experience and respect your personal preferences at the moment.^[10]

   • For example, you might feel like you're gay but withal aren't sure. That's okay. When you're ready, you can decide what label feels right to you.

1. 1

   Gloat your sexual identity as role of who you lot are. Embracing who you lot are is something to celebrate, so be proud of yourself. Recognize that you are perfect the way you are and allow yourself to be you.^[11]

   • If you're not ready to tell everyone that you lot're gay, that's okay! This doesn't mean you aren't proud. It's normal to be nervous, so accept your fourth dimension and come up out when you feel it's the right time.^[12]

2. 2

   Characterization your sexual identity when - if e'er - yous feel ready. Take your time to figure out your sexual orientation. It'due south okay if it takes you a while and if you lot change your mind. Information technology's normal to experiment and question your sexual orientation. When yous feel prepare, decide on which label you want to use for yourself.^[13]

   • For instance, you might think y'all're pansexual considering you've dated nonbinary folks, men, and women. However, you might afterwards realize yous're gay. Information technology'south okay to modify your listen and re-label yourself.

3. 3

   Come out on your terms. At that place'due south no right or wrong style to come out. Your sexual identity is personal, and then you don't owe anyone an explanation. At the same time, being out and proud may help you lot feel like you're being truthful to yourself. When you're prepare, tell someone yous trust about your sexual orientation, like a family member, friend, or teacher. And then, slowly tell the other people who are important to you.^{[14] [15]}

   • For example, you might starting time with your best friend. Tell them, "Have you lot ever noticed that I always notice hot guys? That'south because I'm gay."
   • When you tell your parents, it might help to bring educational resource for parents who take queer children. Say, "I honey you, so I want to share something of import with you lot. I'1000 gay, and I'm proud of it. Since I realized this, I'm feeling really happy and excited near falling in love. I hope you tin empathize and support me."
   • Don't feel like you have to take things slow if y'all're fix to come out. If yous desire people to know your sexual identity, go ahead and tell them.
   • If you're questioning your sexual identity, seek out people you lot know will be supportive. That might be a friend, a teacher, a leader in your community, or mental health professional. If you live in an area where you lot don't feel you'd have a lot of support, wait for online resources, support groups, and forums that could help yous.
   • Coming out is a lifelong journey, non something yous practise only one time.^[16]

4. 4

   Consider if y'all're queer if you're attracted to multiple genders. Existence pansexual ways yous're attracted to multiple/all genders. You lot might not want labels, or identify as queer. This can feel confusing at first considering yous might suspect that yous're gay just then take a crush on someone who's another gender.^[17]

   • Being bisexual doesn't mean you're attracted to anybody. It simply means that y'all may exist attracted to people of either gender.
   • Similarly, beingness bisexual or pansexual doesn't mean that you have to switch back-and-forth between genders.
   • Some people say that bisexual people are "dislocated" or "going through a phase," but this couldn't be farther from the truth.^[18]

5. five

   Reach out to a counselor if you're struggling emotionally. It's normal to have conflicted emotions when you're exploring your sexual identity. Merely if y'all're overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, sadness, or anxiety, or if yous aren't getting the support you need from your family members or customs, some people tin assistance.^[nineteen] Ask your md to recommend a advisor. Or, if you're a student, find out if your school offers counseling services.

   • You tin also find support groups online or call a crisis line that'southward dedicated to LGBTQ issues. For example, young people living in the U.S. tin can phone call the Trevor Projection 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386.^[20]

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• Take all the time you need to decide if you lot're gay. Try dating different people to come across what feels right to you.

• Continue in heed that your sexual orientation is different from your gender identity. That means, for example, that you tin exist transgender but too directly (for case, you might identify as a woman and experience attracted to men) or gay (e.g., if you identify as a adult female and are attracted to other women). You lot can also exist both trans and queer.^[21]

• Being gay is part of who y'all are, and at that place's cipher wrong with it. Some people might not sympathise your sexual orientation, merely you lot are perfect the style you are.^[22]

• Yous don't need to exist sexually agile to be gay. It's solely based on your sexual orientation.^[23]

• You also don't demand to engage in specific types of sexual activities if you don't want to. For instance, not all gay men choose to have anal sex. Wait for ways to get intimate with your partner that both of y'all are comfortable with.^[24]

• Exercise safety sexual practice at all times. Keep in listen that same-sex sexual activities can lead to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) just like whatever sexual run into can.

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Article Summary X

If you're not certain how to know if you are gay, think most whatever past romantic experiences you have had. If yous have had only had crushes on people of a different gender, you are probably straight. If you have had romantic experiences or fantasies involving people who are the same gender as you, and then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but it'south okay if yous're a little confused. Also, if y'all don't want to, you don't have to label yourself at all. Y'all similar who you like, and you lot tin leave it at that. It may assistance to call back of loving people, rather than their gender. To learn more about how to be comfortable with your sexuality, go on reading!

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